New Year 2019

This New Year, consider giving up judgments 

Each year we treat the start of the new year like pressing a reset button. We consider what things went well for us in the previous year and how we’d like to modify our approach in the coming year. We look for discrepancies between how we’re living and what really matters to us. We reflect on goals, values, and how to seek out new experiences. We embrace fresh opportunities. Many will start a new nutritional plan, to include more enriching foods in their diet and cut out foods that aren’t serving them. If one of your goals this next year is to become more mindful, you might consider giving up judgments.

Non-judgment is a crucial tenant and trait of mindfulness. But why? Don’t we need judgments? Judgments are an often necessary and frequently automatic function of our brain. In many ways they help us navigate the world more effectively (e.g., “that stove is hot,” “that road is dangerous at night,” “that person can be relied upon to be supportive/helpful”) but, our minds tend to overdo it and our negative judgments of ourselves and others can create tremendous suffering.

 Take a moment to reflect on how daily use of judgments impacts your life. Think of the most recent negative judgment you made of someone else. Close your eyes and recognize how you felt in the moment of judging. Now think of the most recent negative judgment you made of yourself and again recognize what emotions were elicited and where you felt them in your body. What are the outcomes of judging others and ourselves? Do you feel more or less connected to yourself and those around you? Do you feel more or less motivated? When we’ve asked people this question, many report experiencing increased tension, more disconnection from others, and that chronic negative judgments of themselves undermine their motivation in the long run.

So, what can we do about it? The first step is often awareness (another tenant of mindfulness). Consider a 3-day process:

·       On Day 1 – notice your own judgments (of yourself and others)

·       On Day 2 – notice others’ judgments (where do I see others judging?)

·       On Day 3 – simply notice what arises

This exercise is meant to help us recognize the automaticity of and see if we get any increased liberation from the habit as a result.

Another tactic involves Opposite to Emotion Action where we do the opposite of our urge. In this case, judgment is the urge towards aversion and avoidance, so instead we approach with curiosity. For example, if my judgment is that Cross Fit is a cult-like activity for masochists, I might go try a class and then decide for myself.

Another tool is to become aware of and practice noticing two different types of judgments:

1. Judgments that discern: analyze whether two things are the same or different compared to a standard

          e.g., an expert jeweler discerns whether a stone is a diamond

2. Judgments that are evaluative: Based on opinions, personal preferences, and ideas in our mind

  e.g., “that guy is a terrible driver,” “she is self-centered and uninterested,” “I’m stupid”

Aim to describe experiences using facts rather than judgments. See if you can practice letting go of judgments that evaluate while keeping judgments that discern.

A final concept is the use of beginner’s mind in which we set aside our pre-judgments (e.g., “This brunch is going to be boring and I won’t connect with anyone”) in order to see reality as it really is and allow new possibilities.

Give it a shot and let us know how it goes! Happy 2019!

References:

Ruth Buczynski, PhD; Chris Germer, PhD; Elisha Goldstein, PhD; Marsha Linehan, PhD; & Dan Seigel, MD: National Institute for the Application of Behavioral Medicine, Application of Mindfulness