Human Doing versus Human Being
“Nature does not hurry,
yet everything is accomplished”
~Lao Tzu
It turns out we aren’t very good at being with ourselves or just existing. In a well-known study, about 90% of people preferred to administer a light electrical shock to themselves over sitting in stillness in the room alone. Are you shocked? (Pardon the pun.)
So, what is so unbearable about being with ourselves? Mostly it’s conditioning. We live in a hyper-productive society and exist with innumerable demands on us at any given time. On certain days, my husband receives upwards of 200 emails. He can, if he chooses, respond to them any time of day and night. Occasionally when he is working with the Singapore team, he must respond during his off-hours. Contrast this rhythm with the telegraph which was the primary point-to-point communication modality from the 1840’s to the early 20th century. The telegraph took 45 days to leave London and reach Singapore. That’s a lot of time to chill.
As Andrew Jobe, a yoga instructor puts it “To be in stillness and silence with ourselves is often a very difficult thing to do, which is one of the reasons why so many of us tend to keep ourselves so busy — to avoid feeling the discomfort that can arise when we are still.”
One of my favorite little books, The Tao of Pooh, presents the concept of the “Busy back soon” represented by the character Rabbit. “In the world of Pooh, a person who is always moving, always searching for something they don’t have or a way to get more is called a “Bisy Backson.” The Backson is someone who is never at peace or content. They’re the ones pacing the floor, fidgeting, or rattling the change in their pockets. They must always be exerting the full capacity of their energy and feel like there’s never enough time” (Shah, Rina).
Pooh, on the other hand represents contentment with inaction. He merely sits enjoying his honey. Perhaps nowadays with miniature computers in our pockets administering entertainment on demand, we are worse at this than ever. Scroll, tweet, email, browse, repeat. While these pocket computers make infinite tasks accessible, it also means that we are rarely free of notifications and a task-driven mind. Yet everything in our bodies, down to our most basic cellular processes requires rest. Rest is needed for learning, consolidation of memories, tissue repair and building, cellular purging. Our minds too need moments of rest.
I had a light bulb moment once while lying on the floor at the end of yoga in the final pose, Savasana (or corpse pose). This pose may look and feel like little more than lying on the floor, yet it is a pose and a very important one. It is an acknowledgement of the practice and a moment of stillness for the mind. Again Jobe says it well: “Savasana provides the chance to step back and just notice what we’re thinking and feeling without clinging to those thoughts and feelings. To observe them without judging them as either good or bad, or pleasant or unpleasant, but instead just letting them be what they are.”
Mindfulness makes a helpful distinction between doing and being. Doing mode is a mode of discriminating (where our efforts are in relationship to our goals, or in relationship to others’ accomplishments) and ambition. It is goal-oriented which means it is past and future oriented. In contrast, being mind is a curious mind, a nothing-to-do mind, and is present-oriented.
There aren’t specific activities that categorize or define being. For instance you could take a bath while responding to emails – this would be doing. You could take a bath while fretting about a problem. This would also be doing. Being involves actually inhabiting the moment with awareness and getting in touch with your present experience through your senses. For example, noticing the sensation of the water, the temperature, the scent of the bubble bath. It doesn’t mean you need to have a blank mind or no thoughts for this is nearly impossible. It means though that we step back from the thoughts, the infinite to-do list and instead observe them. It’s the difference between being the ping pong ball and watching the match.
Is one of your intentions for the New Year to have more balance? If we want balance and wellness, we must alternate between states of tension and rest. Here are some ideas for accessing more being mode:
Practice noticing which mode you’re in: Doing or Being
Just being able to name this is building a practice
Create some boundaries around your devices
Put your phone to bed a half hour before you go to sleep
Store it outside the bedroom
Wait an hour before interacting with a device in the morning
Spend more time in nature
Feel your feet on the forest floor
Marvel at the exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen that allows both the trees and us to live
Spend 1 minute each day being with your breath – just noticing the sensations of breathing
Spend one minute sitting at your desk and describing your surroundings to yourself
When you are in doing mode, practice doing one thing at a time (rather than watching tv, texting, and paying bills like I sometimes catch myself doing!)
Then notice the subtle to profound changes that occur in your sense of well-being.
References:
Hoff, Benjamin. The Tao of Pooh. Penguin Group. New York, New York. 1982.
Jobe, Andrew. https://modoyoga.com/savasana/
Shah, Rina. November 21, 2020. https://www.shortform.com/blog/bisy-backson/
Whitehead, Nadia. People Would Rather be Electrically Shocked than Left Alone With Their Thoughts. Science. July 3, 2014. doi: 10.1126/article.22883
Photo Credit to: 1. Samuel Regan-Asante; 2. Javardh on Unsplash